brighter than sunshine

let the rain fall i don't care

September 15, 2014 at 10:35pm
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9.15.14 You say you treat me so well, but you choose your guy friends over me every time.

September 14, 2014 at 8:43pm
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9.14.14 You know those moments where you just want to hide into someone’s chest, be wrapped in someone’s arms, and cry until you feel better? I would have settled for a quick phone call, but I couldn’t rely on anyone to be there for me tonight. Which only amplified already feeling down.

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9.13.14 More people should stay up late until the sun begins to rise. More people should laugh and be fools together. More people should be honest and genuine. More people should be genuine and trustworthy. More people should always be on the lookout for adventure. More people should love without fear, as if they’ve never been hurt and can never be hurt. More people should live their life with reckless abandonment and follow their dreams. This life is short and full of surprises - might as well enjoy them as they happen.

September 13, 2014 at 6:00am
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9.12.14 I made myself physically sick from thinking about that. Why did you have to say that? Now my heart hurts and my chest is all heavy. I know I may be a bit ridiculous, but the thought of you simply not existing anymore - that shakes me down in my core. I actually feel suffocated.

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9.12.14 I’m on a mission this year to get the girls and guys lacrosse teams to be friends. Something happened years ago that created a hatred between our two teams, but tonight marked the beginning of a renewed friendship. I ran into a bunch of the lacrosse guys at the hockey game tonight and we ended up going to get Mr. Goodies ice cream, went to a dance party, and then had a movie night at their house. We even made plans to go salsa dancing and have a mixer. I could not be more excited for this.

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9.12.14 So college. ✌️

September 12, 2014 at 10:42am
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9.12.14 I’m starting to realize that I have a lot of things going for me here at this school. I have a few friends. I am liked by many. I have a challenging class schedule competing for time with my lacrosse schedule which proves to be more important every chance it gets, and yet I continue to balance both fairly well. I have the best career plan ahead of me and I have developed friendships with students who are willing to help me along the way. I have so many new people to meet here. I have goals in mind - both big and small. Some significant, like being team captain; some less important, like finally decorating my dorm room. I am doing good things here. I’m challenging myself academically. I am making good friends. I am living my dream of playing DI college lacrosse. And I absolutely love it.

September 11, 2014 at 6:52pm
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9.11.14 My friend Charlie killed it tonight at Spoken Word.

9.11.14 My friend Charlie killed it tonight at Spoken Word.

September 10, 2014 at 9:08pm
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9.10.14 I don’t even get it though. I haven’t even kissed or dated a lot of guys like my team thinks. I have only had one serious boyfriend and had “a thing” with maybe four guys in the past two years. Like honestly, my dating track record isn’t too crazy.

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9.10.14 So apparently it’s a thing now where my team is betting on how many guys I kiss this year. Katy said 10.. :|

September 9, 2014 at 10:08pm
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9.9.14 I got a really genuine compliment today that made me feel like people actually notice me. I got to my study group somewhat early and there was only one other kid in the room. This guy is a character - I’ve never met someone so unpretentious and unapologetically himself. We were just sitting there working on our math when he suddenly tells me, “I completely mistook you at first.” I looked up without saying anything so he continued with, “You’re confusing. At first, I pegged you as a total tomboy, but then last Monday you did your hair all curly, and then you play a D1 sport. I can’t pin a stereotype on you. I go through so many people everyday with tutoring and classes that everyone blurs together, but not you. You stand out. I don’t know why, but you do. Your personality is good. I can’t figure it out yet, but every time I see you I notice something else that surprises me.” This just made me smile really big to find out that someone - who I just met, who is just one of those in-class buddies, who had transparent intentions and wasn’t trying to again anything by saying that - thinks this way about me. It’s nice to be thought of.

September 7, 2014 at 10:46pm
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9.7.14 Tonight I discovered a new secret place to go after curfew where I am simply captivated by the moon.

9.7.14 Tonight I discovered a new secret place to go after curfew where I am simply captivated by the moon.

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9.7.14 I want to take a break from school to learn. To learn about life. To learn about real world problems. To learn about religion To discover truth for myself. I want to break free from this structured learning that promotes good test scores but lacks real knowledge. To escape hectic schedules and busyness that requires a detailed plan of attack for every second of my day. I want a chance to breathe. To enjoy my young mind. To get caught up in a good book and not have to put it down until I’m satisfied. I want the freedom to let my mind explore. I want to be self-educated so that I know it for myself down in my core rather than just listening and agreeing with professors and pastors and brilliant speakers. I want to experience truth.

September 6, 2014 at 10:16pm
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Reblogged from devoutlittleelf


Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant
 or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful; 
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things, 
endures all things.

(via pursuitofmore)

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9.6.14 You give me false hope and then get mad at me when I say you’re not intentional. You are sweet on me and then get cold when I reciprocate. You talk about the past and bring up memories and then cut me off when I do, saying it’s wrong. Why is it okay for you, but not for me? My intentions are clear, yours aren’t.